Little Histories

[bardiphouka]

Written for: brigits_flame and for APAD
Prompt: Germinate
genre:poetry
word count: 151




Lancelot


Are myths unreal?
Do they need some small
seed of truth, some germination
that leads from what was
to what should have been?

Does it matter if the future
overlooks my good deeds
and blames me? Am I the
villain in this tale of love
and love turned destroyer?

The poets have never quite
got how beautiful she was.
Or how he was so tied
into this mythmaking Merlin left,
that he forgot our love.

I was crazy once you know.
Was nursed back to health
by the woman who was the
root of my insanity, but not,
one might say, my madness.

Arthur had gone mad with history.
I, although raised in magic,went
mad with the magic of her eyes.
This I say. When love, through
the seeds of love and madness germinates.

It is more than history or myth.
It is the moonrise of the heart.

Comments

[bluegerl.livejournal.com]

You cheat! two for the price of one! teehee.

It's lovely and we have a history lesson as well. Daft creature Lancelot - though we do have conflicting stories of 'how far he went'(in a funny spinster voice). He should have done the knightly thing and yanked on his geegee and run off - to the woods, to the woods!!!!

Myself, I always fancied Gawain, or even Percival!

[keppiehed.livejournal.com]

She drove him crazy! That's not very romantic! :(

[bardiphouka.livejournal.com]

He got better?

[blackjackcat.livejournal.com]

Wow, very powerful piece.
Would you mind clarifying this piece of line for me?
and love turned destroyer?
I’m not sure if I’m reading it right. It seems that there may be a word missing.
Other than that, there really isn’t anything else for me to point out.
Though your pattern seems to imply that your third to last line does not mean to end with a period?
Wonderful poem again. Thanks for the read~

[bardiphouka.livejournal.com]

I thought it more powerful without the modifier. Love destroyed Elaine,who loved Lancelot, and Gwyn and Lance, who loved each other, and Camelot...see above.

Oddly enough, it does. For two reasons..it is the end of a sentence..And the end of the poem, the couplet being a summation.

That said, I think the fourth from the last is still clumsy and I am not sure what I would do with it. But this is an APAD poem so I can worry about that at month's end before it all goes off to the printer,

[blackjackcat.livejournal.com]

Oh I get it now. Nice. :3

Maybe taking off the when would help?

What's APAD?
Can I ask where you're printing? :3

[bardiphouka.livejournal.com]

It would scan differently then. And I am still investigating. The thing about poetry...unless you are after a prize you really are not going to make money in this day and age, so you might as well maintain control,eh?

[blackjackcat.livejournal.com]

That's true. I'm sure you could get a prize though.
And being one word off is pretty close.
I hope you find it.

[blackjackcat.livejournal.com]

This poem made me want to go back and read the legends again.
I really loved your line about Arthur getting caught up in 'mythmaking'. <3

Edit- NHB, no grammar

[with-rainfall.livejournal.com]

that leads from what was
to what should have been?

I like the sense of transition that "germination" carries here: it's not just a seed but a link between the real and the ideal past (or myth).

villain in this tale of love
and love turned destroyer?

The repetition doesn't make sense. I suggest replacing either instance of 'love' with another word. I think 'lover turned destroyer' would work here; the meter would also match the previous line.
If you want to keep the idea of love itself causing destruction, replace the first 'love'.

What's very effective about this poem is how self-contained the metaphors are. You've used the word "germinate" to bind all the other ideas in the poem.
There are some very interesting, thought-provoking phrases in here. Well done.

Re: Edit- NHB, no grammar

[bardiphouka.livejournal.com]

Thank you for taking the time to both read and examine,I will certainly think on your suggestion when APAD is over.,

[lacombe.livejournal.com]

Great poem -- I like the implication that the burden of writing the "legends" fell upon Merlin, and that his filter, plus the passing of time, have been part of the shaping of what is now believed to be true. I also especially appreciate this stanza:

"I was crazy once you know.
Was nursed back to health
by the woman who was the
root of my insanity, but not,
one might say, my madness. "

[bardiphouka.livejournal.com]

I am not used to responses that delayed..thank you. Someday I might do the whole Arthurian cycle.