(Purest 18)..Yes, I agree, he said

[bardiphouka]

He agreed and closed the door
watching her walk away
the lock, in the wrong
key for life, clicking
like a sharp knife
the blade shining in
the growing understanding

of wrong,wrong

but unable to stop the feel
of sharp steel on heartskin.

He looks out the door but she
is too far away to see the details
of how wrong this choice was; he

is a diver and she the ocean he
would glady dive towards
realising that he has missed
and the rocks in that
moment of hope are whispering
a tidal surge of

wrong, so wrong.

Comments

[keppiehed.livejournal.com]

key for life, clicking
like a sharp knife
the blade shining in
the growing understanding

of wrong,wrong

I don't think anyone has ever captured so aptly the feeling of growing awareness of a crushing mistake. As always, your words lend beauty to grievous emotions and perhaps provide a spark that love is reason to hope, even against the odds? A lot to get across on the page and testament to your skill as a poet.

[bardiphouka.livejournal.com]

It is my thought that love may be many things,but it is never wrong to love. It is wrong to deny it though.

[leticiae.livejournal.com]

This was some powerful stuff. I particularly liked this line:
but unable to stop the feel
of sharp steel on heartskin.

[bardiphouka.livejournal.com]

interesting choice, because that couplet(?) actually showed up while I was debating what to write. Which happens to me with odd frequency.

[pyre006.livejournal.com]

LOVE THIS!

[bardiphouka.livejournal.com]

glad you enjoyed.