bardiphouka: (Default)
bardiphouka ([personal profile] bardiphouka) wrote2012-04-02 06:45 am

Little Histories

Written for: [livejournal.com profile] brigits_flame and for APAD
Prompt: Germinate
genre:poetry
word count: 151




Lancelot


Are myths unreal?
Do they need some small
seed of truth, some germination
that leads from what was
to what should have been?

Does it matter if the future
overlooks my good deeds
and blames me? Am I the
villain in this tale of love
and love turned destroyer?

The poets have never quite
got how beautiful she was.
Or how he was so tied
into this mythmaking Merlin left,
that he forgot our love.

I was crazy once you know.
Was nursed back to health
by the woman who was the
root of my insanity, but not,
one might say, my madness.

Arthur had gone mad with history.
I, although raised in magic,went
mad with the magic of her eyes.
This I say. When love, through
the seeds of love and madness germinates.

It is more than history or myth.
It is the moonrise of the heart.
ext_442164: Colourful balloons (Ani: sorry in french)

Edit- NHB, no grammar

[identity profile] with-rainfall.livejournal.com 2012-04-23 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
that leads from what was
to what should have been?


I like the sense of transition that "germination" carries here: it's not just a seed but a link between the real and the ideal past (or myth).

villain in this tale of love
and love turned destroyer?


The repetition doesn't make sense. I suggest replacing either instance of 'love' with another word. I think 'lover turned destroyer' would work here; the meter would also match the previous line.
If you want to keep the idea of love itself causing destruction, replace the first 'love'.

What's very effective about this poem is how self-contained the metaphors are. You've used the word "germinate" to bind all the other ideas in the poem.
There are some very interesting, thought-provoking phrases in here. Well done.

Re: Edit- NHB, no grammar

[identity profile] bardiphouka.livejournal.com 2012-04-23 10:08 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you for taking the time to both read and examine,I will certainly think on your suggestion when APAD is over.,