First of all, I am biting my tongue. Hard. And I'll bet you can figure out why.
Now that that's out of the way, you haven't left me much to say about content, have you? I rather think you do that on purpose because you know full well you'll get good marks in this arena, Mr. Phouka. Well, here we go. I will say that I enjoyed your parenthetical element. Normally I find them unnecessary or annoyingly overused, but yours is the perfect example of how it should be done. A tasteful aside, humorous, and you didn't go back to drain the well that served to induce a smile. Humorous because, of course, it is a statement in contrast to the one that precedes it, and so this form is the perfect way to deliver your dry humor without interrupting the flow to beat the reader over the head with it.
This was entertaining and pretty much the embodiment of the prompt. Its brevity added to its charm, and though I was left feeling cheated out of a “real” story, I do believe that is due to your talents per the proverbial “leave them wanting more” rule. So no real quibbles from me (since you left the grammar box conspicuously unchecked—ahem) and only a bit of a smile. Well done yet again.
Your BF edit!
First of all, I am biting my tongue. Hard. And I'll bet you can figure out why.
Now that that's out of the way, you haven't left me much to say about content, have you? I rather think you do that on purpose because you know full well you'll get good marks in this arena, Mr. Phouka. Well, here we go. I will say that I enjoyed your parenthetical element. Normally I find them unnecessary or annoyingly overused, but yours is the perfect example of how it should be done. A tasteful aside, humorous, and you didn't go back to drain the well that served to induce a smile. Humorous because, of course, it is a statement in contrast to the one that precedes it, and so this form is the perfect way to deliver your dry humor without interrupting the flow to beat the reader over the head with it.
This was entertaining and pretty much the embodiment of the prompt. Its brevity added to its charm, and though I was left feeling cheated out of a “real” story, I do believe that is due to your talents per the proverbial “leave them wanting more” rule. So no real quibbles from me (since you left the grammar box conspicuously unchecked—ahem) and only a bit of a smile. Well done yet again.