Falcon's Quest
Aug. 14th, 2011 03:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bardiphoukaFor:Brigit's Flame
Week 2
Prompt: United Kingdom 2067
Genre: a mix of F/SF
Word Count:1453
I see you have the paperwork filled out. Let me give you a bit of background before we go into your particulars. Some you will no doubt be aware of, but some items, on the other hand, will be new to you.
On 7 August, 2011, at 23:00 Paris time, there was a slight malfunction at the Cern Large Hadron Collider. Or at least that is what the authorities who could be tracked down later called it. As a side effect of the malfunction, the majority of Western Europe suffered severe destruction. In the span of a few seconds the Alps had been torn into large lines of various sized rubble. Most of the cities in France, Belgium, Switzerland, Germany and Italy were either gone or had retreated to the shell ridden condition they had been left in at the end of World War II. It was decades before things began to return to normal, and then, from what I am told, in a considerably different political state.
Well, almost returned. Most of Great Britain,as you no doubt know, was not subject to destruction. What not everyone is aware of is that what actually happened is that the collection of islands that made up The United Kingdom had, for the most part, simply disappeared. Northern Ireland had, once again, left behind. There was, I am told, a small, horned mooon shapped sliver of one of the Orkney Islands there, but it quickly eroded. It was not that the land had disappeared. Rather, that section of the planet was gone. Not even a hole was left, which was probably good for the people living on the other side, who were unaffected, so far as I am aware. But then I am not always trusting of what the people outside have told us of our mutual history over this century.
Now, on to our own time, or times as the case may be. On 7 August 2067 at 22:00 London Time, Great Britain reappeared, There were, people discovered over the coming months, a number of differences between the Great Britain of 2011 and the Great Britain of 2067. Although it was all by way of being vicarious. The United States, including her protectorates in what had been Europe, had placed the entire area under quarantine indefinitely. Esp since they had lost several of the rare and precious satellites trying to get images.
What they did not know in the beginning was that the aurora borealis circled Great Britain. While this made for some spectacular evenings, it also was a hint that something awry was happening with magnetics in the area. Such as them becoming totally undependable. And it is amazing, even in the 21st Century, how much technology still requires the use of magnets. So the only observations available were flyovers by dirigibles.
Dirigible crews soon made good use of this by creating their own black market. There were still some natural resources in the new UK which had become scarce in the rest of the world. And the UK had a thirst for chocolate and for tea, both of which had been unavailable for decades.
What besides natural resources do we have to offer the world? Balloons. I am not sure if you have ever made use of a balloon, but certainly you have noticed the balloon orchards throughout the countryside? Yes, well, our balloons have certain unique proprieties that can make them quite valuable. They can hold memories. But we can return to that at another time.
Life was chaotic, in totally different ways behind what became known as the Lion's Shield, then it was outside. The easiest example were the pigeons. London had always been known for the pigeons that thronged along its squares looking for treats from the tourists or from bank clerks on Tea. And they were gone. Nowhere in London was there a single pigeon. Instead, there were flocks of dodos, with their shumbling attempts at movement and their loud quarks to each other as they found a treat, or more likely someone with treats.
Time itself had become even more unstable than magnetism. In the North what had been Scotland was part Scotland and part some Pictish name that nobody could pronounce. There was a small part of Wales which said they were being ruled by the real king, albeit a king of the sixth Century. A Viking ship had appeared off the coast of Cumbria and the occasional Norman warlord would show up on occasion here and there, demanding tribute.
This was life in Great Britain in the last half of the 21st Century. Well, among other time periods. The part that was hardest to come to grasp with was the way all this could effect an individual's life. Great grandparents could show up on the village green as small children. A husband or love could nip down to the chemist and never return. Or they could nip down to the chemist and not be able to find their own time period's home.
Where was the UK during the intervening time? A good question, and one without an answer, because nobody really had the faintest idea. The brain is a fascinating thing some times. Part of the memory can remember what should have happened while another can remember what might have happened. And often there was no way of telling which was which, especially when people started drifting apart on the time webs.
Ah yes, time webs. Obviously there was no longer a single time line on the Island. But there was a sort of loose nebulous web of time possibilities. The vast majority of people could not fathom the quantum intricacies of the time web, let alone use it. At first the select few who know about the time web thought that perhaps fictional characters had been made flesh and blood after the Cern 'incident'. And I am sure you would prefer that thee were a Miss Marple or a Sherlock Holmes around to help out when they are needed. And I would totally agree with you. But alas that is not the case.
I can understand the confusion though. The truth is that those who can wander through the time web, albeit not always with success, are people from actual history. But they are people who have been, extended as it were. Turned in legends that are often larger than the real people.
You met my partner Rob when you came in. Rob was a simple, poor nobleman in pre-Tudor England, with a sad taste for venison. The King's venison of course. And now look at him. He has become a veritable symbol of personal liberty that would make the pre-Incident Americans jealous. Thankfully for us he has lost none of his hunting skills. The powers that be call him an Extended. I think the powers that be read a lot of comic books when they were young.
You seem quizzical. No,the Extended are not that plentiful, but on the other hand there are more of them than you would have thought. Saints and Warriors across the Island. And sometimes just the occasional eccentric in a local hamlet whose personality goes on for generations. Even ghosts. Oh no, I am not talking about after life people. I am talking about someone who is so well known that the people in their area make legends of them in the afterlife. And after the Incident they started showing up. Some of they work with us, some are the ones we end up having to hunt.
Jack the Ripper? No, I am afraid not. Spring-heel Jack was not really the person the papers made him out to be. In fact 'he' was actually more than one person. But there are still Extended out there you would not want to meet for the Vicar's tea, let alone in a dark London alley. Some of them I am sure were actually good people at one point. But we have all been pushed further to the edge than dodos at one point or another, yes? Especially in the early years when nobody knew even as little as we do know about the time web, let alone about being Extended.
How have we found each other? Mostly because we ourselves began looking for something or someone and found ourselves on the web.
Was I looking for someone? Well yes, and no I have not found them. But we are told not to give up hope eh? Until the Tower Ravens crow for us there is always hope. And in the meantime I, we actually, still try to help others.
Oh, I am ever so sorry. Rob has mentioned on more than a few times that it is obvious that my manners are not the reason I am Extended. My name is Falcon. Not familiar? Not a surprise there actually. I come from a time in history when English was not all that common. But from what I have read I have become fairly well known over the millennium. Long way from the simple Welsh boy I was indeed.
Now, how exactly is it that we can help you?
Week 2
Prompt: United Kingdom 2067
Genre: a mix of F/SF
Word Count:1453
I see you have the paperwork filled out. Let me give you a bit of background before we go into your particulars. Some you will no doubt be aware of, but some items, on the other hand, will be new to you.
On 7 August, 2011, at 23:00 Paris time, there was a slight malfunction at the Cern Large Hadron Collider. Or at least that is what the authorities who could be tracked down later called it. As a side effect of the malfunction, the majority of Western Europe suffered severe destruction. In the span of a few seconds the Alps had been torn into large lines of various sized rubble. Most of the cities in France, Belgium, Switzerland, Germany and Italy were either gone or had retreated to the shell ridden condition they had been left in at the end of World War II. It was decades before things began to return to normal, and then, from what I am told, in a considerably different political state.
Well, almost returned. Most of Great Britain,as you no doubt know, was not subject to destruction. What not everyone is aware of is that what actually happened is that the collection of islands that made up The United Kingdom had, for the most part, simply disappeared. Northern Ireland had, once again, left behind. There was, I am told, a small, horned mooon shapped sliver of one of the Orkney Islands there, but it quickly eroded. It was not that the land had disappeared. Rather, that section of the planet was gone. Not even a hole was left, which was probably good for the people living on the other side, who were unaffected, so far as I am aware. But then I am not always trusting of what the people outside have told us of our mutual history over this century.
Now, on to our own time, or times as the case may be. On 7 August 2067 at 22:00 London Time, Great Britain reappeared, There were, people discovered over the coming months, a number of differences between the Great Britain of 2011 and the Great Britain of 2067. Although it was all by way of being vicarious. The United States, including her protectorates in what had been Europe, had placed the entire area under quarantine indefinitely. Esp since they had lost several of the rare and precious satellites trying to get images.
What they did not know in the beginning was that the aurora borealis circled Great Britain. While this made for some spectacular evenings, it also was a hint that something awry was happening with magnetics in the area. Such as them becoming totally undependable. And it is amazing, even in the 21st Century, how much technology still requires the use of magnets. So the only observations available were flyovers by dirigibles.
Dirigible crews soon made good use of this by creating their own black market. There were still some natural resources in the new UK which had become scarce in the rest of the world. And the UK had a thirst for chocolate and for tea, both of which had been unavailable for decades.
What besides natural resources do we have to offer the world? Balloons. I am not sure if you have ever made use of a balloon, but certainly you have noticed the balloon orchards throughout the countryside? Yes, well, our balloons have certain unique proprieties that can make them quite valuable. They can hold memories. But we can return to that at another time.
Life was chaotic, in totally different ways behind what became known as the Lion's Shield, then it was outside. The easiest example were the pigeons. London had always been known for the pigeons that thronged along its squares looking for treats from the tourists or from bank clerks on Tea. And they were gone. Nowhere in London was there a single pigeon. Instead, there were flocks of dodos, with their shumbling attempts at movement and their loud quarks to each other as they found a treat, or more likely someone with treats.
Time itself had become even more unstable than magnetism. In the North what had been Scotland was part Scotland and part some Pictish name that nobody could pronounce. There was a small part of Wales which said they were being ruled by the real king, albeit a king of the sixth Century. A Viking ship had appeared off the coast of Cumbria and the occasional Norman warlord would show up on occasion here and there, demanding tribute.
This was life in Great Britain in the last half of the 21st Century. Well, among other time periods. The part that was hardest to come to grasp with was the way all this could effect an individual's life. Great grandparents could show up on the village green as small children. A husband or love could nip down to the chemist and never return. Or they could nip down to the chemist and not be able to find their own time period's home.
Where was the UK during the intervening time? A good question, and one without an answer, because nobody really had the faintest idea. The brain is a fascinating thing some times. Part of the memory can remember what should have happened while another can remember what might have happened. And often there was no way of telling which was which, especially when people started drifting apart on the time webs.
Ah yes, time webs. Obviously there was no longer a single time line on the Island. But there was a sort of loose nebulous web of time possibilities. The vast majority of people could not fathom the quantum intricacies of the time web, let alone use it. At first the select few who know about the time web thought that perhaps fictional characters had been made flesh and blood after the Cern 'incident'. And I am sure you would prefer that thee were a Miss Marple or a Sherlock Holmes around to help out when they are needed. And I would totally agree with you. But alas that is not the case.
I can understand the confusion though. The truth is that those who can wander through the time web, albeit not always with success, are people from actual history. But they are people who have been, extended as it were. Turned in legends that are often larger than the real people.
You met my partner Rob when you came in. Rob was a simple, poor nobleman in pre-Tudor England, with a sad taste for venison. The King's venison of course. And now look at him. He has become a veritable symbol of personal liberty that would make the pre-Incident Americans jealous. Thankfully for us he has lost none of his hunting skills. The powers that be call him an Extended. I think the powers that be read a lot of comic books when they were young.
You seem quizzical. No,the Extended are not that plentiful, but on the other hand there are more of them than you would have thought. Saints and Warriors across the Island. And sometimes just the occasional eccentric in a local hamlet whose personality goes on for generations. Even ghosts. Oh no, I am not talking about after life people. I am talking about someone who is so well known that the people in their area make legends of them in the afterlife. And after the Incident they started showing up. Some of they work with us, some are the ones we end up having to hunt.
Jack the Ripper? No, I am afraid not. Spring-heel Jack was not really the person the papers made him out to be. In fact 'he' was actually more than one person. But there are still Extended out there you would not want to meet for the Vicar's tea, let alone in a dark London alley. Some of them I am sure were actually good people at one point. But we have all been pushed further to the edge than dodos at one point or another, yes? Especially in the early years when nobody knew even as little as we do know about the time web, let alone about being Extended.
How have we found each other? Mostly because we ourselves began looking for something or someone and found ourselves on the web.
Was I looking for someone? Well yes, and no I have not found them. But we are told not to give up hope eh? Until the Tower Ravens crow for us there is always hope. And in the meantime I, we actually, still try to help others.
Oh, I am ever so sorry. Rob has mentioned on more than a few times that it is obvious that my manners are not the reason I am Extended. My name is Falcon. Not familiar? Not a surprise there actually. I come from a time in history when English was not all that common. But from what I have read I have become fairly well known over the millennium. Long way from the simple Welsh boy I was indeed.
Now, how exactly is it that we can help you?
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no subject
Date: 2011-08-14 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-15 01:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-15 06:00 am (UTC)I've got a suspicion I know of "Falcon" by another name, in a few books read long ago.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-15 10:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-15 09:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-15 10:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-18 05:55 am (UTC)If you do not mind me saying, I think this could have benefitted from an unidentified narrator. I found Falcon's narration unnecessary because you never really provided a sense of who he is, who he is talking to and why. In my opinion, it detracted from the entirety of the piece.
Other than that, I liked it. The potential of this world is great and I would like to see you write more about it. :)
no subject
Date: 2011-08-18 09:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-19 02:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-19 09:01 am (UTC)Edit!
Date: 2011-08-21 03:31 am (UTC)Firstly, I’d like to talk about your voice, because that stood out strongest. You have a very strong conversational voice going on throughout the entire piece, which makes perfect sense, because it’s actually a person talking! I really liked that aspect of your voice. However, because it’s so conversational, you have a lot of phrases that get muddled together. Using hyphens and other punctuation marks a little bit more liberally, especially to reflect when your narrator is breathing, will make the piece flow a lot better and also clarify any confusing spots. You don’t use any italics, which I feel for such a verbal sort of piece, was very interesting. I feel like your voice was strong enough that it wasn’t entirely necessary, but I would experiment with putting some in and determining if the effect worked better.
Content-wise, your piece hinges very strongly on a malfunction regarding the LHC, which goes so far to change the magnetics of the earth. Um. Obviously the physics is wrong, but since that’s what drives your entire story, I won’t focus on that except to say that every time you mentioned something slightly more science-related, it threw me out because it didn’t mesh with the knowledge I have. XD But magic made it better. :D Obviously, I’m not a nuclear physicist, so there could very well be large holes in my physics knowledge, but from the talks I went to about the LHC, I really didn’t find your science entirely plausible. Anyways, moving away from the science part! You mention a lot of different aspects of this world, and a lot of them have a great fantasical element, which I found delightful to read. I would really like to see an expansion on each of these minor elements.
My main issue with your science was actually because the fantasy element of your story didn’t come in until later. In fact, you can safely say that pre-2067 UK approaches the phenomenon in a very science-fiction context, with attempts at logical explanation, while post-2067 UK approaches it in a fantasy context. Bringing the fantasy context into the beginning of your story will clear out any science-related questions, because there’s magic involved already which will solve everything. Then you can even extend the science-fiction concept into your later half to solidify the whole piece instead of creating two very separate sort of situations. (Or you can just get rid of the science. Magic is wonderful. I love magic. It solves all of these pesky limitations that the universe imposes on us.)
Pacing-wise, I think it took a little long for the reader to get into the story, in part because of your two very different approaches towards Great Britain in 2067. You mention so many great ideas—balloons filled with memories is probably my favorite one—but you never get into really great detail. Your piece is driven entirely by the voice, and content-wise it doesn’t pull the reader along, especially at the beginning when you’re talking about how the situation occurred.
Overall, I think you created a very elaborate world, and your voice in this piece is wonderful. And please write more about the balloons! They sound so interesting!
Re: Edit!
Date: 2011-08-21 03:32 am (UTC)Re: Edit!
Date: 2011-08-21 12:30 pm (UTC)First I appreciate the depths that you went to in this edit. Although you may want to send them in RTF in the future for those of us who do mot us MS anything when possible. I do not think I missed anything but there was a lot of code at the beginning and end.
I actually debated about using CERN vs LHC and decided to go with CERN because that is what it tends to be known as outside the Physics Community.
I am not sure about liberal use of punctuation, but certainly proper usage would have improved it. So would have tearing it in two. There are actually two sections, and the first I would be happy to go away. The idea in this version of the story was Merlin (and yes people, in case you had not guessed, Falcon is Merlin.) as Sam Spade. The first part I would love to be much more gradual over the course of a larger piece of fiction.
Science Fantasy. Back when the LHC was about to start operations there were a lot of theories floating around. Some had to do with physical disuption and some actually had to do with random temporal displacement. (Yes I have the I Survived the LHC tshirt). This would not mean a global disruption of magnetics. In fact in the story it does not. The effect of the entire artificial black hole (for lack of a better term) is rather localised.
But I think there is very little fantasy in the story. Which is why I limited myself historical characters. This is not to say that there may not be in the final production. And balloons. Hopefully some of your other questions will be settled over time as the story progresses. Raven fans... this does not mean I have given up on him.
Again I thank you for the intensive edit.
Re: Edit!
Date: 2011-08-21 11:22 pm (UTC)Sodium? another long story. The thing is, a magic deus ex machina would be horribly boring for me.
Re: Edit!
Date: 2011-08-22 12:00 am (UTC)